What Is Enneagram Type 8?

Enneagram type 8 relationships, often referred to as “The Challenger,” are characterized by their strong, assertive personality and desire for control over their own lives.

These individuals are known for their natural leadership abilities, confidence, and drive to make a significant impact in the world around them.

In relationships, Enneagram eights exhibit an intense passion that can easily ignite those around them.

They have a tendency to confront conflicts head-on rather than avoid or sugarcoat issues – this direct communication style may be seen as refreshing honesty from some partners but could also appear intimidating or overly aggressive to others.

Despite their tough exterior, type 8s may struggle with vulnerability due to the fear of being controlled by others or perceived as weak.

How Does Enneagram Type 8’s Characteristics Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 8 individuals, often referred to as “The Challenger,” have a significant impact on their relationships due to their self-confidence, assertiveness, and strong character.

These traits can be both beneficial and challenging in various relational contexts. For instance, the fierce sense of justice possessed by Type 8s helps create a solid foundation built upon mutual trust and respect between partners or friends.

However, less self-aware Enneagram 8s may struggle with balancing their natural assertiveness with vulnerability in relationships.

This challenge can lead to misinterpretations of emotional distance or disinterest when indeed they are heavily invested but reluctant to show any perceived weaknesses.

Despite these potential challenges, many Enneagram-type eights excel at making others feel valued and supported due primarily to their straightforward nature and dedication to maintaining control over various aspects of their lives.

In romantic settings, they approach love passionately while providing ample energy into nurturing the relationship’s growth – especially after gaining insight into effective ways of showcasing emotional support alongside robust protective instincts.


Sloan model

Enneagram Type 8 individuals thrive on seeking control and establishing themselves as leaders within their relationships. As they adamantly oppose appearing or feeling weak, their primary motivations are a desire for independence and maintaining authority.

This drive to be in control can stem from an early life experience where they felt vulnerable or powerless, which now serves as the fuel that pushes them to pursue positions of power and competence.

For example, an Enneagram 8 might push themselves to excel professionally not only for personal satisfaction but also to ensure that they maintain a strong position within their social circle or relationship.

Communication Style

Enneagram Type 8 individuals are known for their assertive and straightforward communication style. They express their thoughts, opinions, and emotions with confidence and clarity without beating around the bush.

Type 8s strive to maintain control in all areas of their lives, including conversations. They have a natural ability to take charge of discussions by presenting strong arguments supported by facts.

However, it’s important for them to recognize that excessive assertiveness may come across as domineering or confrontational to some people.

How Is Enneagram 8 Perceived?

enneagram 8 challenger

Enneagram Type 8 is often referred to as “The Challenger,” and individuals with this personality type are perceived as strong-willed, independent thinkers who prioritize practical results.

They are seen as decisive and assertive in all aspects of life, including relationships.

According to the Enneagram model, Enneagram Type 8s tend to be perceived differently by different personality types.

For example, Type 1 individuals may see them as overly aggressive or confrontational, while Type 9s may appreciate their strength and determination but might also feel overwhelmed by their intensity at times.

Perceived By Enneagram Types 1-9 List

Enneagram Type 8 individuals are often perceived differently by each of the other Enneagram types.

Here is a list of how Type 8 is seen by Types 1-9:

  1. Enneagram Type 1 perceives Type 8 as: Assertive, confident, and decisive, appreciating their strength and ability to take charge, but may view them as too forceful or prone to dominating others.
  2. Enneagram Type 2 perceives Type 8 as Independent, strong-willed, and self-reliant, respecting their autonomy and ability to stand up for themselves, but might see them as overly confrontational or lacking in emotional warmth.
  3. Enneagram Type 3 perceives Type 8 as: Ambitious, powerful, and determined, recognizing their drive for success and ability to achieve their goals, but may perceive them as overly competitive or focused on control.
  4. Enneagram Type 4 perceives Type 8 as Strong, assertive, and capable, admiring their ability to take charge and protect others, but might find them too blunt or insensitive to emotional nuances.
  5. Enneagram Type 5 perceives Type 8 as: Decisive, confident, and protective, appreciating their ability to take action and stand up for what they believe in, but may view them as domineering or overly demanding of others.
  6. Enneagram Type 6 perceives Type 8 as: Resilient, assertive, and capable, valuing their ability to provide a sense of security and protection, but might see them as overly aggressive or distrustful.
  7. Enneagram Type 7 perceives Type 8 as Strong, assertive, and straightforward, enjoying their directness and ability to take charge, but may find them too intense or dominating in their approach.
  8. Enneagram Type 9 perceives Type 8 as Powerful, self-assured, and protective, appreciating their ability to assert themselves and stand up for others, but might view them as overly confrontational or prone to anger.

What are Enneagram Type 8 Relationships Like?

Enneagram Type 8 individuals are known to be assertive and direct, which can make for a strong and passionate bond in a relationship.

They tend to have high expectations of themselves and their partners, seeking mutual trust, respect, and protection.

In a relationship with an Enneagram Type 8 person, it is important to note that they may struggle with vulnerability or expressing their emotions outwardly.

However, this does not mean that they do not care deeply about their partner. When two well-matched Type 8s come together in a relationship, they can stimulate each other’s energy while providing comfort and relaxation at the same time.

enneagram 8 relationships

Strengths And Weaknesses

Enneagram Type 8s have strong personalities and are natural-born leaders. They excel at taking charge of situations, making decisions quickly, and boldly standing up for what they believe in.

This assertiveness makes them excellent problem solvers who can tackle challenges head-on without hesitation.

Another weakness Enneagram Type 8s need to be mindful of is their tendency to neglect emotional vulnerability and dependence on others. The need for control often leads them to avoid showing any weaknesses or asking for help when needed.

Furthermore, this trait often blinds the Enneagram Type 8 from seeing potential risk factors that could lead them down a path towards exhaustion and burnout due to their relentless push-forward mentality.


Enneagram Type 8s tend to have the highest compatibility with other Type 8s, but they also form strong connections with Type 9, Type 2, Type 3, and Type 6 in romantic relationships. The compatibility between Type 8s and other Enneagram types is illustrated in the table below:

Enneagram TypeCompatibility with Type 8
Type 1Medium Compatibility: Both types seek control and may struggle with compromise, potentially leading to conflicts.
Type 2High Compatibility: Type 2s provide emotional support, while Type 8s offer protection and strength, creating a balanced partnership.
Type 3High Compatibility: Both types are action-oriented and ambitious, making for a powerful and goal-driven relationship.
Type 4Medium Compatibility: Type 8s may struggle to understand the emotional depth of Type 4s, which could lead to misunderstandings.
Type 5Low Compatibility: Type 8s might find it hard to connect with the reserved and introverted nature of Type 5s.
Type 6High Compatibility: Type 6s appreciate the security and decisiveness of Type 8s, while Type 8s benefit from Type 6s’ loyalty and support.
Type 7Medium Compatibility: Type 8s may find Type 7s’ spontaneity and constant pursuit of new experiences challenging to keep up with.
Type 8Highest Compatibility: Two Type 8s in a relationship offer mutual trust, respect, and protection, leading to a strong and stable partnership.
Type 9High Compatibility: Type 8s provide decisiveness and direction, while Type 9s offer a calming presence and the ability to diffuse tension.
Enneagram Type 8s Compatibility Chart


Enneagram Type 8s have a tendency to dominate and take control of their relationships. They value honesty, strength, and assertiveness, which can sometimes come off as intimidating or challenging for others.

8 enneagram

In romantic relationships, they struggle with showing weakness or being dependent on anyone. However, this doesn’t mean that they don’t want to connect emotionally with others; it’s just that they may find it difficult to express themselves vulnerable.

Manage Conflict

Enneagram Type 8 individuals are known for their assertive and confrontational approach to conflict resolution. Here are some tips on how to manage conflict when dealing with an Enneagram Type 8:

  1. Address the issue head-on: Avoid beating around the bush or sugarcoating the problem. Enneagram 8s appreciate directness and honesty.
  2. Listen actively: When in a heated discussion with an Enneagram Type 8, be sure to actively listen to their concerns and opinions before expressing your own.
  3. Avoid personal attacks: While Enneagram Type 8s value directness, they do not tolerate personal attacks or criticism of their character.
  4. Allow them time to process: After a disagreement, give Enneagram Type 8s time to process and reflect on what was discussed before trying to engage in further conversation.
  5. Meet halfway: Find common ground and work together towards a mutual solution that benefits both parties involved.
  6. Don’t hold grudges: Once the conflict has been resolved, let it go. Holding onto past arguments will only hinder future interactions with an Enneagram Type 8.

Remember, managing conflict with an Enneagram Type 8 requires directness, active listening, and a willingness to compromise and find common ground.

What Is It Like To Live With Enneagram Type 8?

Living with an Enneagram Type 8 can be both rewarding and challenging.

One of the strengths of living with an Enneagram Type 8 is their unwavering loyalty and dedication towards those they care about. They will go above and beyond to provide support, protection, and stability for those around them.

On the flip side, conflicts within household settings are common with type 8s since they value self-expression over harmony in relationships

In a household setting, Enneagram Type 8s will often take charge of the decision-making process and make sure that everyone’s needs are met while also maintaining order.

They prefer to handle conflicts head-on rather than avoiding them which can cause friction with those who are more conflict-averse.

Tips For Fostering Harmony And Understanding

To build strong relationships with Enneagram type 8s, it’s essential to understand and appreciate their unique traits and needs.

Here are some tips for fostering harmony and understanding:

  1. Be honest and direct in your communication: Eights value transparency, so avoid beating around the bush or using manipulative tactics.
  2. Respect their need for autonomy: Eights have a strong desire for control over their lives, so allow them to make decisions and set boundaries.
  3. Avoid controlling behavior: Trying to manipulate or dominate an Eight will only lead to conflict and potential fallout.
  4. Appreciate their strength and determination: Eights are natural leaders who thrive in challenging environments. Acknowledge their achievements and celebrate their successes.
  5. Show empathy when they express vulnerability: Though Eights may not readily show their emotions, they do have moments of vulnerability that require support and understanding.
  6. Give them space when needed: Eights can be intense in their energy levels and interactions, so recognize when they need time alone or away from others.
  7. Encourage them to explore their emotional side: Through self-reflection and therapy, Eights can learn to embrace vulnerability and connect with others on a deeper level.

By following these tips, you can build strong relationships with Enneagram type 8s that are built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

What Is Friendship With Enneagram 8s Like?

enneagram 8 friends

Friendship with an Enneagram Type 8 can be an exciting and fulfilling experience. However, friendship with Type 8 requires understanding that they may hold back when it comes to emotional vulnerability or personal struggles.

Enneagram Type 8 individuals crave deep relationships where mutual respect is key. They require friendships where they feel completely trusted while retaining autonomy.

Qualities They Value In Friends

Enneagram Type 8 individuals place a high value on friendships and relationships, seeking loyal, honest, and kind-hearted friends who are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in.

One reason why Enneagram Type 8 people seek loyalty from their friends is that they like being in control and asserting their authority; having supportive friends who respect them can help reinforce this feeling of power.

Additionally, since Type 8 personalities have big personalities themselves and never get lost in the crowd or fail to speak their minds, they appreciate those who don’t beat around the bush with them.

Dynamics And Potential Challenges In Friendships

Friendship with Enneagram Type 8 individuals can be dynamic and rewarding, but it may also come with some challenges.

Here are some potential dynamics and challenges to consider:

  1. Loyalty: Enneagram Type 8 values loyalty in friendship and can be fiercely loyal to their friends.
  2. Direct Communication: Enneagram Type 8’s direct communication style can both strengthen and strain friendships.
  3. Independence: Enneagram Type 8 individuals value independence and may require space or alone time within friendships.
  4. Vulnerability: Enneagram Type 8 individuals may struggle with showing vulnerability in friendships, which can affect trust levels.
  5. Conflict Resolution: Enneagram Type 8’s assertiveness can lead to arguments or disagreements among friends, but they often resolve conflicts quickly.
  6. Trust Issues: Enneagram Type 8’s fear of being controlled by others can sometimes lead to trust issues within friendships.
  7. Dominance: In group settings, Enneagram Type 8 may assume a dominant role which may lead to clashes with others who have strong personalities

How Are Enneagram Type 8s In Dating?

When it comes to dating, Enneagram Type 8s are known for their direct and assertive approach. They value honesty and openness in a partner and expect the same level of transparency in return.

However, despite their tough exterior, Enneagram Type 8s can fall just as hard in love as anyone else. While they may not be the most outwardly emotional people, Eights deeply values mutual trust and respect in a relationship.

Type 8 individuals may find themselves most naturally compatible with partners who understand their need for independence yet are willing to engage in healthy communication when conflicts arise.

Approach To Dating And Romantic Relationships

Enneagram Type 8s are direct and assertive in their approach to dating and relationships. As fiercely independent individuals who like to be in control of their lives, they can struggle with vulnerability and may find it difficult to open up emotionally.

Enneagram Type 8 males and females have similar traits when it comes to romance- both value strong communication skills with their partner while expressing themselves. It is recommended that Type 8s should date people who match their energy level so that there won’t be any conflicts or power struggles between them.

Research has shown that Enneagram Type 8 individuals tend to gravitate towards relationships with Types 2 (Helper), 4 (Individualist), and occasionally {6 Loyalist).

How Are Enneagram Type 8 Males And Females Similar And Different In Dating?

Enneagram Type 8 males and females share some similar traits when it comes to dating, such as being assertive, confident, and protective. However, there are also some key differences between them in terms of how they express their emotions and approach relationships.

Both are assertive and confident in their pursuit of romantic interests.Type 8 males may be more direct in their approach to dating, while Type 8 females might use a more subtle approach.
Both value honesty and direct communication in relationships.Type 8 males may struggle more with vulnerability and expressing their emotions, while Type 8 females might be more open and expressive.
Both have a strong desire for control in their relationships.Type 8 males may be more likely to assert their control through dominance, while Type 8 females might use their nurturing and protective instincts to maintain control.
Both are protective of their partners and will go to great lengths to ensure their well-being.Type 8 males may express their protectiveness through providing for their partner, while Type 8 females might focus more on emotional support and connection.
Both enjoy challenges and can be competitive in dating scenarios.Type 8 males may be more likely to view dating as a game to be won, while Type 8 females might see it as an opportunity to build a strong partnership.
Enneagram Type 8 Dating Chart

Strengths And Potential Pitfalls In Romantic Relationships

enneagram 8 protector

Enneagram 8s are assertive and decisive in making important decisions for the relationship. However, their tendency to take charge can lead to conflict when their partner feels restricted or not heard.

As Type 8s struggle with vulnerability, they may find it difficult to open up emotionally in relationships which can create distance between them and their partner.

Research shows that Enneagram Type 8s are most compatible with other Type 8s since they share similar values of independence, loyalty, and honesty.

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How Are Enneagram 8s As Parents?

Enneagram Type 8 parents are passionate, self-confident, and assertive individuals. They exhibit strong leadership traits in all areas of their lives and encourage their children to be independent thinkers.

However, Enneagram Type 8s may sometimes struggle with controlling their emotions when dealing with their children’s misbehavior or mistakes. This intense reaction can unintentionally intimidate the child and make them feel unsafe around the parent.

Overall, Enneagram Type 8 parents are driven by a desire for success in both parenting and personal goals.

Parenting Style

Using Dr. Diana Baumrind’s parenting styles as a reference, Enneagram Type 8 parents (“The Challenger”) might most closely align with the Authoritarian style, but with certain qualities of the Authoritative style.

Here’s why:

Authoritarian Tendencies:

  • Clear Expectations and Rules: Type 8s value strength, control, and clear boundaries, which can translate into having distinct rules and expectations for their children.
  • Directness: They’re known for their straightforward communication, and they expect honesty and directness from their children in return.
  • Challenge-Oriented: Type 8 parents might challenge their kids to go beyond their comfort zones and might have high expectations of them.
  • Strong Sense of Justice: They have a keen sense of right and wrong, and they might enforce this strictly in their household.

Authoritative Qualities:

  • Open Dialogue: While they have clear boundaries, a healthy Type 8 might also value and respect a well-reasoned argument or pushback from their children, which aligns with the open communication encouraged in the authoritative style.
  • Protectiveness: Type 8s have a strong protective instinct, which can translate into being very nurturing and supportive of their children, akin to the warmth seen in the authoritative style.
  • Encourage Independence: Much like authoritative parents, Type 8s would likely encourage their kids to be independent and self-reliant, providing them with tools to navigate the world confidently.

However, it’s essential to remember that individual variation is significant. While many Type 8 tendencies align with the Authoritarian style, their approach to parenting can vary based on their health level (i.e., how self-aware and balanced they are), their upbringing, culture, and personal experiences.

A self-aware Type 8 might consciously integrate more authoritative qualities into their parenting style, striving for a balanced approach that combines clear boundaries with warmth and open communication.

What are Enneagram 8 Main Challenges As Parents?

Enneagram Type 8 parents’ main challenge in parenting often revolves around their intense desire for control and their natural assertiveness.

Here are some specific challenges they might face:

  1. Struggle with Vulnerability: Type 8s have a core fear of appearing weak or vulnerable. This can make it challenging for them to express softer emotions, admit mistakes, or allow their children to see them in a vulnerable state. This can create a barrier to a deeper emotional connection with their children.
  2. Intensity and Impatience: Their natural intensity and passion can sometimes be overwhelming for children, especially if they are more sensitive or introverted. Impatient outbursts or a domineering approach can create tension in the parent-child relationship.
  3. Over-Protection: Their strong desire to protect their loved ones can sometimes translate into being overly protective or controlling, potentially stifling their child’s independence or causing the child to feel smothered.
  4. Difficulty Relinquishing Control: Type 8s might struggle with allowing their children to assert their independence, especially during the adolescent years. This can lead to power struggles as the child seeks more autonomy.
  5. High Expectations: They might place high expectations on their children, pushing them hard to succeed or stand up for themselves. While this can foster resilience, it can also lead to pressure and stress for the child.
  6. Challenging Emotional Expression: Type 8s value directness and honesty, but they might sometimes struggle with expressing or processing more vulnerable emotions, which could make emotionally charged conversations with their children challenging.
  7. Conflict Resolution: While Type 8s are not afraid of conflict and often see it as a means to an end, continuous confrontations might not always be the best approach with children, especially if it leads to a breakdown in communication.

Awareness is crucial for Type 8 parents. Recognizing these challenges and working on them—perhaps through self-reflection, counseling, or learning about parenting techniques—can help them nurture a positive and healthy relationship with their children.

It’s also beneficial for them to recognize the strengths of their parenting style, like their protective nature and their desire to raise resilient, confident children.

Tips For Creating A Supportive And Balanced Parenting Environment

Creating a supportive and balanced parenting environment for Enneagram Type 8s can help them feel secure and promote healthy growth in their children. Here are some tips for achieving this:

  1. Emphasize fairness and justice: Enneagram Type 8s have a strong sense of justice, so it’s important to model fair treatment of others and teach your child to treat others with kindness and respect.
  2. Celebrate independence: Encourage your child to be independent and make their own decisions whenever possible. This will help them develop the same level of self-confidence that Enneagram Type 8s possess.
  3. Be consistent: Enneagram Type 8s appreciate consistency, so try to maintain routines and rules as much as possible. This will help your child feel secure and know what is expected of them.
  4. Extend grace: While it’s important to set boundaries and enforce rules, it’s also important to extend grace when appropriate. This helps foster a loving and forgiving environment where mistakes are allowed.
  5. Foster open communication: Encourage your child to express themselves openly without fear of judgment or retribution. This will help strengthen the bond between parent and child, as well as promote healthy emotional development.

By following these tips, you can create a parenting environment that is both supportive and balanced for your Enneagram Type 8 child.

What Is It Like To Work With An Enneagram 8?

enneagram 8 ego

Enneagram 8 are highly assertive, direct communicators who like to take control and make decisions quickly.

However, their intense personalities can also lead to conflicts with colleagues or subordinates who do not share their ideas or methods.

When working alongside an Enneagram 8 boss or coworker, it’s best to come prepared with well-researched arguments that align with their values.

Eights appreciate honest feedback and value those who are willing to stand up for themselves as they would do the same.

How are Enneagram 8s As Bosses, Co-workers, And Subordinates?

Enneagram type 8 individuals can display different behaviors as bosses, co-workers, and subordinates.

Here are some characteristics to keep in mind:

  • As bosses, Enneagram type 8s tend to be confident and forceful leaders who are direct with their communication style. They may come across as intimidating or threatening at times but are often fair and just in their decision-making. Their employees may need to be prepared for tough love feedback and willingness to take calculated risks.
  • As coworkers, Enneagram type 8s can be loyal team players who take on responsibility readily. They have a reputation for being hardworking and will speak up when they feel that something needs to change. However, they can also dominate conversations and situations which can make others feel excluded at times.
  • As subordinates, Enneagram type 8s value autonomy and control over their work environment. They want their boss to trust them so they can get on with the job without needing too much direction or guidance. They expect to be given recognition for their accomplishments and contributions.

Enneagram type 8 personalities are complex but understanding how they function can help you navigate your interactions with them in a more effective way.

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How Compatible Are Enneagram 8s With Other Enneagram Types?

Enneagram Type 8s are known for their strong, assertive personalities, which can make them both challenging and alluring partners. According to research into Enneagram compatibility, Type 8s are most compatible with Types 2, 3, and 9.

When paired with another Type Eight who shares similar values and communication styles, it can be a highly passionate relationship that offers mutual respect and trust. However, two Eights may also struggle with power struggles or become competitive with each other.

In contrast, Eights tend to clash with Type Ones due to differences in communication style. Eights value directness while Ones prefer diplomacy.

What Is The Relationship Compatibility Between Type 8 And Types 1-9?

Enneagram Type 8 is a dynamic personality that pairs well with certain types.

The list below outlines the compatibility and potential challenges that may arise when partnering with other Enneagram types.

  • Types 1 and 9 are the most compatible, due to shared drives and complementary traits.
  • The combination of Enneagram Type 8’s assertiveness and justice-seeking paired with the perfectionism tendencies of Type 1 creates an intense but balanced partnership.
  • Meanwhile, the patience and endurance of Enneagram Type 9 provides acceptance and respect to the strong-willed nature of Type 8, creating stability in their relationships.
  • Although each pair brings unique challenges to one another, these three types can create healthy and growth-oriented relationships when they find common ground.

How Does Enneagram Type 8 Wing Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 8 wings can significantly impact relationships, influencing their behavior and communication style. 8w7s tend to be more outgoing, adventurous, and impulsive in relationships, while also having a need for independence.

Their energy can help create excitement and spontaneity but may also lead to unpredictability or disorganization. On the other hand, 8w9s are more laid-back and balanced, valuing stability in their relationships while being emotionally reserved at times.

Understanding an Enneagram Type 8’s wing is essential when cultivating healthy relationships with them as it allows one to support them better by recognizing how they communicate best.

In conclusion, knowing about Enneagram type eight wings helps enhance self-awareness as well as insights into others’ personalities; this knowledge can enable you both within your interpersonal connections by paving the way for compassion towards oneself & others!

What Are Enneagram 8’s Wings?

Enneagram Lines

Enneagram Type 8 has two wings – 8w7 and 8w9. Each wing adds a unique flavor to the personality of an Eight, affecting their relationships and decision-making.

  • The 8w7 wing is often called the “Maverick” or “Adventurer.” adding a playful and energetic edge to the Eight’s dominant personality. Eights with this wing tend to be more extroverted and spontaneous, seeking new experiences and stimulation.
  • The 8w9 wing is referred to as the “Bear” or “Defender.” offering a more grounded and mediating influence on the Eight’s aggressive tendencies. These Eights are typically more introverted and calm, valuing stability, security, and loyalty.

Each Enneagram wing pairing has one wing with more extroverted tendencies and the other with more introverted tendencies. Understanding which wing dominates an Eight’s personality can help shed light on their behavior in different settings, including relationships with others.

How Does 8w7 Traits Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 8 individuals with a 7 wing, also known as the “Maverick,” tend to be more spontaneous, adventurous, and energetic. They are driven by their desire for new experiences and can sometimes come across as restless or impulsive.

In relationships, this can translate into a need for excitement and variety.

However, Enneagram Type 8w7 personalities can also be passionate and enthusiastic partners who enjoy taking risks together with their significant others.

They are not afraid to speak their minds, even if it leads to disagreement or conflict. This assertiveness can benefit relationships by fostering openness and honesty between partners while also keeping things exciting.

How Does 8w9 Traits Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 8w9, also known as the “Bear,” is a subtype of Type 8 that combines the assertiveness and intensity of an Eight with the peacekeeping and easygoing qualities of a Nine.

These individuals have a formidable presence that can sometimes come off as intimidating, but they also have a softer side. Their love for peacefulness can make them somewhat more diplomatic than other Eights in relationships.

Furthermore, they tend to be more relaxed and calm compared to other Enneagram Types 8s.

For instance, when an employer criticizes an Eight w9 for underperforming after being given clear instructions on how to tackle assignments effectively, this type might deliver counter-critiques on how he felt undervalued by his boss’s tone & negative energy towards him while acknowledging his weaknesses.

How Does Enneagram Type 8’s Subtypes Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 8s can be further classified into three subtypes: Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual. Each subtype influences relationships in unique ways.

Self-Preservation Eights tend to focus on self-care and protection of their resources. They may struggle with emotional vulnerability in their relationships and fear being controlled or manipulated by others.

On the other hand, Social Eights prioritize social connections as a means to cope with emotional bias, seeking out activities or groups that align with their values.

Understanding Enneagram Eight’s subtype can help identify potential challenges and strengths in a relationship. For example, a partner of a Self-Preservation Eight should create opportunities for emotional openness through trust-building exercises without compromising the Eight’s sense of control.

A partner of a Social Eight could foster social connections within shared interests while also giving them space when needed for recharge time.

Overall, recognizing an individual’s Enneagram type alongside its respective subtype can provide greater insights into relational tendencies which enables partners to communicate more effectively leading to healthier outcomes for all involved parties involved in any type eight relationship dynamic they are engaged in life – whether it is personal or professional growth contexts – helping them navigate complex territory successfully while creating meaningful lifelong connections with each other over time!

How Does Each Subtype Influence Relationships?

enneagram 8 subtypes

Each subtype of Enneagram Type 8 can have a unique influence on relationships. Here are some ways each subtype can impact Type 8s in relationships:

  1. Self-Preservation Subtype:
  • These Type 8s tend to focus on their own needs and survival, which can sometimes lead to putting themselves before others in a relationship.
  • They prefer partners who are independent and do not rely too much on them for support.
  • They may struggle with vulnerability or showing their emotions, leading to difficulties in emotional intimacy.
  1. Social Subtype:
  • These Type 8s prioritize connecting with others socially and building strong relationships, which can be positive for romantic partnerships.
  • However, they may feel drained if they give too much energy to others in the relationship.
  • They may need reassurance that their partner values and appreciates them.
  1. One-to-One Subtype:
  • These Type 8s place a high value on intimacy and union with their partner, which can sometimes lead to jealousy or possessiveness.
  • They may struggle with feeling vulnerable or losing control in the relationship.
  • However, if they learn to trust their partner and open up emotionally, they can cultivate deep connections.

Overall, understanding your subtype as a Type 8 can help you navigate your personal strengths and weaknesses in relationships, leading to more fulfilling partnerships.

How Does The Countersubtype Influence Relationships?

The counter subtype, also known as the self-preservation subtype, is one of the three subtypes of Enneagram Type 8. This subtype focuses on survival and security needs and may struggle with trust issues in relationships.

In romantic relationships, they may have a more practical approach to love, focusing on providing for their partner’s basic needs rather than verbal expressions of affection.

They can be fiercely protective of their loved ones but may struggle with vulnerability and expressing emotions.

In friendships, counter subtype Enneagram Type 8 individuals appreciate loyalty and reliability from their friends.

They tend to be task-oriented in group settings and value efficiency over socializing or small talk.

The challenge lies in being vulnerable enough to ask for help or express feelings when necessary as this subtype has a tendency towards self-sufficiency and control.

What Needs Do Relationships Serve For Enneagram Type 8?

Enneagram Type Eights are fiercely independent and have a strong sense of control over their lives. However, they also need relationships to feel supported and loved.

Additionally, relationships provide a space for Enneagram Type Eights to express their vulnerable side that they may not show in other areas of their life.

Overall, relationships play an essential role in the growth and development of Enneagram Type Eights.

How Do Relationships Help Enneagram Type 8 Grow?

Relationships play a significant role in the growth and development of Enneagram type 8. As they form close connections with others, their tendency towards dominance and control can be softened through mutual trust, respect, and vulnerability.

Relationships also give them an opportunity to learn empathy, as they are often focused on themselves and their goals.

In addition, relationships help Enneagram type 8 refine their communication skills.

Through open dialogue with partners or friends who may not share their assertive style of communication, they can learn to express themselves more clearly while still maintaining boundaries.

This helps type 8s communicate effectively without being too aggressive or dominant in relationships.

What Lessons Does Enneagram 8 Learn In Relationships?

Enneagram Type 8 individuals can learn and grow from their relationships by developing vulnerability, empathy, and sensitivity toward others.

While it may be difficult for them to show weakness or dependency in a relationship, it is important that they recognize the value of vulnerability as it creates intimacy with their partner.

Additionally, learning to empathize with others’ feelings and perspectives can help enhance communication skills while also promoting better understanding between partners.

Recognizing when sensitive topics arise and addressing them appropriately will contribute positively to healthier conflict-resolution processes in relationships.

How Can Enneagram Type 8 Improve Their Relationships?

If you are an Enneagram Type 8 looking to improve your relationships, here are some tips:

  1. Practice active listening: Enneagram Type 8s tend to dominate conversations and overlook other people’s feelings. To improve your relationships, try actively listening by asking questions, showing genuine interest, and paying attention to non-verbal cues.
  2. Work on expressing vulnerability: Since Enneagram Type 8s value strength and independence, they may struggle with being vulnerable. However, expressing vulnerability in a relationship can build trust and intimacy. Start small by sharing a personal experience or feeling with someone you trust.
  3. Learn to compromise: Enneagram Type 8s tend to be assertive and direct in their communication style which does not always allow for compromise. Practice finding common ground by talking through differences and being open to alternative perspectives.
  4. Practice empathy: Enneagram Type 8s are known for their fierce independence and perspective; however, it is also important to understand other people’s perspectives. Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand where they are coming from.
  5. Recognize the importance of emotional support: Although Enneagram Type 8s may favor providing practical support instead of emotional support, it is essential for building strong relationships. Make the effort to express care and concern for others’ emotional well-being.
  6. Be aware of your dominant tendencies: While having a strong sense of self is admirable, it can also become overwhelming for others around them if not kept in check from time to time.

Incorporating these tips into your interactions with loved ones, colleagues, friends, etc., will help strengthen your relationships whilst aligning with the true traits of an enneagram type 8 – such as mutual trust and respect between both parties involved in said relationship(s).

Best Relationship Tips For Enneagram 8?

As an Enneagram Type 8, building and maintaining healthy relationships can be challenging. Here are some tips to help you navigate your relationships as a Type 8:

  1. Work on your communication skills: As someone who values directness and assertiveness, it’s important to learn how to communicate in a way that doesn’t come across as aggressive or intimidating. Practice active listening and focus on understanding the other person’s perspective.
  2. Be mindful of your tendency to control: While you may have a strong sense of independence and taking control of situations, it’s important to recognize that others may not want to be controlled or dominated. Practice allowing others to make decisions and take the lead when necessary.
  3. Find a balance between individuality and partnership: You value your own independence and freedom, but it’s important to find ways to compromise and work together in a partnership. Identify areas where you can let go of control without compromising your values.
  4. Respect boundaries: While you may have a tendency to push boundaries, it’s important to respect other people’s boundaries as well. Learn how to recognize when someone is uncomfortable or doesn’t want to engage in something, and back off accordingly.
  5. Allow vulnerability: As someone who values strength and power, vulnerability may be difficult for you. However, allowing yourself to be vulnerable with others can foster deeper connections and trust in relationships.

Remember, building healthy relationships takes time, effort, and patience. By working on these tips and recognizing your strengths and weaknesses as an Enneagram Type 8, you can create fulfilling relationships with those around you while staying true to yourself.


1. What are some common traits of Enneagram Type 8 in relationships?

Enneagram Type 8 individuals tend to be strong-willed and protective of their loved ones, often taking charge and making decisions for the benefit of the relationship. They may struggle with vulnerability and emotional intimacy but value honesty and direct communication.

2. How can I improve my relationship with an Enneagram Type 8 partner?

It is important to establish trust through clear communication, respecting boundaries, and recognizing their need for independence while also demonstrating your own willingness to contribute and support them in achieving shared goals.

3. Can Enneagram Type 8 individuals have successful long-term relationships?

Yes, absolutely! With a combination of mutual respect, effective communication, and understanding of each other’s needs & values – there’s no limit to how deep or meaningful these connections could become over time

4. What are some potential challenges in navigating a relationship with an Enneagram Type 8 partner?

Some potential challenges may include managing any perceived power imbalances created by their natural tendency towards control or assertiveness; addressing conflict resolution techniques or finding ways that work best for both parties (i.e., compromising on little things such as household chores); working through any emotional distance they may exhibit when feeling vulnerable themselves can help facilitate a deeper connection between couples when done correctly.