What Is Enneagram Type 3?

Enneagram Type 3, often referred to as the “Achiever,” is a personality type characterized by their relentless drive, ambition, and desire for success. These high achievers value accomplishments and strive for excellence in everything they do.

They possess remarkable adaptability and can easily charm others with their charisma and confidence.

As part of the Enneagram system – a popular framework for understanding human psyche – type 3 individuals are self-assured go-getters who thrive in competitive environments.

One noteworthy example is the legendary basketball player Michael Jordan – an iconic figure known for his work ethic, competitiveness, and ability to inspire teammates.

Despite being predisposed towards accomplishment-oriented goals within career domains or other areas of interest, Enneagram threes also crave authentic relationships built on trust and mutual understanding.

In order to cultivate such connections, they need to be aware of their tendency to focus excessively on outward appearances at the expense of deeper emotional bonds.

How Does Enneagram Type 3’s Characteristics Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 3s, possess a strong drive for success and recognition which can influences their relationships, both positively and negatively.

On the positive side, Type 3s are known for their ability to adapt quickly to different situations and personalities. They tend to be excellent communicators who excel at making others feel valued and appreciated.

However, this drive for success can also bring challenges to Enneagram Type 3’s relationships. A common pitfall is that Threes may struggle with prioritizing personal connections over career advancements or maintaining an image of perfection at all times.

For example, an Enneagram type three may spend long hours at work or become consumed by accomplishing various milestones in order to impress their partner but forget about other necessary elements such as open communication or emotional support that help build strong relationships.


enneagram 3 achiever

Enneagram Type 3 individuals, motivation stems from an inherent need for validation, admiration, and affirmation; they want their accomplishments to be acknowledged and celebrated.

As Achievers navigate through their personal relationships, this motivation can manifest itself in various ways. For example, Type 3s may present themselves as highly confident, adaptable partners who support the ambitions of those around them.

They are also likely to seek out like-minded individuals who appreciate their drive for success and will offer praise when it is earned. However, this hunger for achievement may sometimes overshadow emotional vulnerability or openness within a relationship if not appropriately managed.

Communication Style

Enneagram Type 3 individuals often utilize language that highlights their accomplishments, aspirations, and abilities in order to present themselves as successful and capable.

This can manifest in conversations with Type 3s sharing updates on their latest achievements or discussing plans for future endeavors.

However, this emphasis on success can sometimes lead Type 3s to struggle with authenticity in their communication. The desire to project an image of competence may overshadow their true feelings or opinions, making it difficult for them to open up emotionally or be vulnerable with others.

For example, rather than expressing concern about a personal issue or fear of failure, they might instead boast about recent accomplishments in an attempt to divert attention from any perceived weaknesses.

How Is Enneagram 3 Perceived?

Enneagram Type 3 individuals are often perceived as confident, ambitious, and driven. They have a reputation for being high achievers who value success highly in all areas of their lives, from personal relationships to their professional careers.

How Enneagram Types 3 Are Perceived by the Other Enneagrams

Here’s a list of how Enneagram Types 1-9 perceive Type 3:

  1. Enneagram Type 1 – Sees Type 3 as driven and goal-oriented, but sometimes feels that they prioritize success over ethics and morals.
  2. Enneagram Type 2 – Admires Type 3’s charisma and charm, but can become frustrated when they feel like they are not receiving enough attention from them.
  3. Enneagram Type 4 – Feels envious of Type 3’s ability to achieve their goals effortlessly, but sees them as superficial and lacking in depth.
  4. Enneagram Type 5 – Respects Type 3’s work ethic and determination, but can find them exhausting due to their high energy levels.
  5. Enneagram Type 6 – Appreciates how reliable and competent Type 3 is, but may find their competitiveness off-putting.
  6. Enneagram Type 7 – Admires Type 3’s confidence and ambition, but can feel overwhelmed by their intensity at times.
  7. Enneagram Type 8 – Respect the assertiveness and drive of Type 3, but can become frustrated with their constant need for validation from others.
  8. Enneagram type 9 – Adores the positive energy and optimism of a healthy type three because they share similar values around societal success; however unhealthy threes who undermine them trigger the peacemaker’s fears about conflict leading to distance or avoidance.

It’s important to note that these perceptions may vary based on each individual’s level of health within their own Enneagram type.

What Is A Relationship With Enneagram Type 3 Like?

A relationship with an Enneagram Type 3 can be a dynamic and exciting experience. As high achievers, they have ambitious goals and will work hard to accomplish them, which can often mean success in both their personal and professional lives.

They also tend to be confident individuals who are charming, charismatic, and driven to succeed.

However, there are also potential challenges that come with being in a relationship with an Enneagram Type 3.

While they may prioritize achievement over emotional connection at times, it is important for partners of Type 3s to remember that they have deep emotions as well.

Additionally, throughout their relationships, Threes may struggle with expressing vulnerability or asking for help due to their fear of failure or rejection.

Ultimately though if communication lines stay open and each person feels seen and acknowledged within the relationship – it can be an exciting growth journey together!

Strengths And Weaknesses

Enneagram Type 3s are known for their high energy, ambition, and success-driven mindset. They have a natural talent for achieving their goals and often excel in areas such as business, athletics, or art.

This strength can make them great partners in both personal and professional relationships because they inspire others to strive for greatness.

One weakness of Enneagram Type 3 is their tendency to become overly focused on personal image instead of genuine connections with others. This can lead to an obsession with appearances over substance, which can undermine trust and intimacy in relationships.


Enneagram Type 3 individuals have a tendency to prioritize their goals and ambitions over their relationships. They are highly driven and focused on achieving success, which can sometimes make them seem aloof or uninterested in connecting with others on a deeper level.

In romantic relationships, Threes may gravitate towards partners who validate their accomplishments and share similar aspirations for success. However, this focus on external achievements can also cause issues in the relationship if one partner feels neglected or undervalued.

In friendships, Threes seek out those who appreciate one another’s brilliance and share common interests but can struggle to understand the needs of friends who prioritize emotional connection over tangible accomplishments.

Manage Conflict

Managing conflicts can be a challenge for Enneagram Type 3 individuals, as they often struggle to understand their own feelings and may have difficulty expressing them during heated discussions.

It is important to approach conflicts with Type 3s in a kind and clear manner, avoiding negative tones and emotional outbursts that can trigger defensive behavior. Instead, try to focus on the problem at hand and work collaboratively towards finding a solution that both parties are comfortable with.

The Enneagram Institute offers resources on communication styles between different types, including strategies for resolving conflicts and building trust within relationships.

Enneagram 3 Compatibility Chart

Enneagram Type 3s value relationships that can help them achieve their goals, and as such, they are often most compatible with individuals who share similar interests and ambitions.

Research shows that Type 3s tend to be most compatible with other Type 3s due to their mutual passion for success.

In romantic relationships, Enneagram Type 3s seek partners who can match their intensity and drive. This means that potential partners must have an active lifestyle, shared interests, and likings while complementing or matching the Achiever’s ambitious nature.

Here is a breakdown of the Compatibility between Enneagram 3 and the other Enneatypes.

Enneagram TypePositive InteractionsChallenges
Type 1Mutual respect for ethics; both are goal-oriented3’s adaptability vs. 1’s rigid correctness
Type 2Both value relationships; 2’s support aids 3’s goals3’s task-focus might neglect 2’s emotional needs
Type 3Mutual understanding; drive for successPotential for competitiveness or superficiality
Type 4Connect on emotional level; 3’s optimism uplifts 43’s image-focus vs. 4’s need for depth and authenticity
Type 5Mutual respect for expertise; 5’s depth, 3’s action3’s fast pace vs. 5’s introspection
Type 66 provides loyalty and security; both are hardworking3’s adaptability might seem unpredictable to security-focused 6
Type 7Both energetic and forward-moving; love for life3’s focus on tasks vs. 7’s desire for varied experiences
Type 8Mutual respect for strength; both are assertivePotential power struggles; 3’s adaptability vs. 8’s directness
Type 93’s drive balances 9’s peace; mutual support3’s urgency might disrupt 9’s desire for harmony
Enneagram 3 Compatibility Chart

What Is It Like To Live With Type 3?

Living with an Enneagram Type 3 can be both exciting and challenging. Type 3s are highly driven individuals who tend to focus on achieving their goals, which can lead them to prioritize work over personal relationships.

On the positive side, living with a Type 3 means that you have an incredibly motivated partner or friend who is always looking for ways to improve themselves and accomplish their goals, whether it’s in their career or personal life.

However, it’s important to note that living with a Type 3 also comes with some challenges. Their intense focus on achievement can sometimes make them neglectful of the people they care about most.

Overall, living with a Type 3 requires patience, understanding, and communication. It’s essential for both parties involved in the relationship to learn how to meet each other’s needs effectively while acknowledging each other’s strengths and weaknesses as individuals.

Description Of The Experience Of Living With A Type 3 Partner, Family Member, Or Friend

Living with an Enneagram Type 3 individual can be incredibly exciting, as they are driven to accomplish great things and strive for success.

They are often dynamic and high-energy partners who bring enthusiasm and charisma to their relationships. However, living with a Type 3 can also have its challenges.

They may struggle to express their emotions or prioritize the needs of others over their own goals and ambitions.

Strengths And Challenges

enneagram 3

One of the strengths of Type 3 individuals in relationships is their boundless energy and enthusiasm. They are driven to accomplish goals and encourage others to do the same, which can create a sense of excitement and motivation in relationships.

However, Type 3 personalities also have challenges they may face in their relationships. Their desire for validation and recognition may lead them to put on a “performance” in their interactions with others, rather than being authentic or vulnerable.

Additionally, their tendency towards impatience and competitiveness can sometimes be off-putting or overwhelming for those around them.

Tips For Fostering Harmony And Understanding

If you’re in a relationship with an Enneagram Type 3, it’s important to keep these tips in mind for fostering harmony and understanding:

  1. Validate their achievements: Type 3 individuals thrive on recognition and validation for their accomplishments. Make sure to acknowledge their hard work and success, even if it seems like they don’t need it.
  2. Encourage open communication: Threes can struggle with expressing vulnerability and emotions, so creating a safe space for them to share their feelings is crucial in any relationship.
  3. Avoid being competitive: Although competition can be healthy in some situations, constantly competing with a Type 3 partner or friend can lead to tension and conflict.
  4. Appreciate other qualities besides achievement: While Type 3s may prioritize success, they have many other valuable traits that should be appreciated, such as their humor, kindness, or creativity.
  5. Practice active listening: When your Enneagram 3 partner or friend shares their goals or aspirations with you, make sure to actively listen and show interest in what they have to say.

By keeping these tips in mind, you can foster healthy relationships with Enneagram Type 3 individuals and support them as they pursue their goals and ambitions. Remember that understanding an individual’s Enneagram type can be helpful for promoting teamwork and empathy at work as well.

What Is Friendship With Enneagram 3s Like?

Enneagram Type 3 individuals value close friendships with people who share their beliefs and life goals. These high achievers thrive in relationships where they can receive validation for their accomplishments and be reminded of their successes.

Type 3s are most compatible with other Type 3s, as they have similar traits that allow them to understand each other’s drive for success. However, Threes also enjoys the company of supportive and accepting Nine types who can help balance out their natural competitiveness.

Qualities In Friends

Enneagram type 3s value friendships with people who share their ambitions and understand the importance of success. They also seek friends who can provide a sense of validation to boost their confidence and self-worth.

An example of this is when Type Three has a friend who encourages them to step back from work occasionally and enjoy the small things in life. This friend could be someone they enjoy spending time with just relaxing or doing something fun together away from their busy life.

Dynamics And Potential Challenges In Friendships

Friendship with an Enneagram Type 3 can be rewarding for both parties, as Threes are often charismatic, goal-oriented individuals who love to share their achievements and ambitions.

They tend to prioritize friendships that bring them closer to their goals or enhance their social status and may struggle with vulnerability or expressing emotions in close relationships.

However, potential challenges may arise if a Three’s drive for success becomes all-consuming or starts to overshadow the needs of others. Threes may also have a tendency towards competitiveness or one-upmanship in friendships if they feel threatened or insecure about their own accomplishments.

How Are Enneagram Type 3s In Dating?

enneagram 3 love

Enneagram Type 3s are known to approach dating with a purposeful mindset. They tend to be intentional and careful about how they spend their time, looking for partners who share similar values and interests.

As high achievers with a strong desire for success, Enneagram Type 3s often look for partners who have goals and ambitions of their own.

In romantic relationships, Enneagram Type 3s prefer genuine care and authentic love over superficial gestures or flattery. They value open communication and honesty with their partners, avoiding any pretense or games.

Approach To Dating And Romantic Relationships

Enneagram Type 3 individuals approach dating and romantic relationships with the same vigor and ambition they bring to other aspects of their lives. They tend to seek out partners who are accomplished, driven, and successful in their own right because they value shared goals and aspirations.

In romantic relationships with other Type 3s, there is a mutual desire to make each other proud while avoiding drama or conflict. However, when it comes to partners who have different Enneagram types,

Type 3s may need to learn how to adapt their communication style according to the needs of their partner.

For example, a more emotional type like an Enneagram Type 4 may prefer more emotional expression from their partner compared to a more pragmatic approach that Type 3s typically adopt toward romance.

How Are Enneagram Type 3 Males And Females Similar And Different In Dating?

Enneagram Type 3 males and females may have similar traits and desires in dating, such as being open and driven partners. Both genders are often attracted to ambitious and successful individuals who share their drive for accomplishment.

However, there may be differences based on individual experiences and personality types. For example, male Enneagram Type 3s may prioritize status and recognition more than female Enneagram Type 3s, whereas women tend to value emotional connection and validation from their partners more highly.

Strengths And Potential Pitfalls In Romantic Relationships

Enneagram Type 3 individuals are high achievers who value success, status, and recognition. In romantic relationships, Threes bring strengths like innate optimism, adaptability, and enthusiastic energy.

They tend to be supportive partners who actively listen and provide validation for their significant other’s goals and ambitions. However, one of the potential pitfalls in a relationship with a Type 3 is their tendency to prioritize work over personal matters or neglect their partner’s emotional needs.

Due to their desire to accomplish goals quickly and efficiently, Threes may struggle with expressing vulnerability or being emotionally available in a relationship.

Awareness of these tendencies can help Threes learn to balance work and personal life while maintaining healthy communication with their partner.

Healthy relationships require effort from both parties involved. While Enneagram Type 3 individuals can offer support for their partner’s goals and aspirations, they should also remember the importance of sharing emotions as well as accomplishments together along the way.

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How Are Enneagram 3s As Parents?

Enneagram type 3 parents are natural achievers who value success, and they strive to pass this drive onto their children. They want their kids to be the best in every aspect of life, from academics to sports and extracurricular activities.

As a result, these parents provide ample support to help their children achieve.

Despite this challenge, Enneagram type 3 moms tend to thrive on public attention and approval due to a lack of self-approval.

Overall, Enneagram type 3s can make excellent parents with dedication and effort put towards a balance between achieving goals without losing sight of what truly matters – genuine care and authentic love for family members.

Parenting Style

When mapping this to Dr. Diana Baumrind’s parenting styles, an Enneagram Type 3 might gravitate towards the Authoritative style but could also show tendencies of the Authoritarian style, particularly when their focus on success and achievements becomes paramount.

Here’s a breakdown:


  • Encouragement and Motivation: Type 3 parents are likely to be encouraging and motivating, helping their children to set and achieve their goals.
  • Open Communication: They might promote open dialogue with their children about aspirations, achievements, and setbacks, aiming for mutual respect and understanding.
  • Balanced Approach: A healthy Type 3 would balance their drive for success with understanding and responsiveness, fostering both ambition and emotional connection in their children.

Tendencies towards Authoritarian Style:

  • High Expectations: Driven by their own orientation towards success, Type 3 parents might set high expectations for their children, sometimes pushing them towards specific achievements or paths.
  • Value on External Success: There could be a strong emphasis on measurable success, like grades, sports achievements, or other recognitions. This might come at the expense of recognizing and valuing other qualities in their children.
  • Control and Direction: In their drive to see their children succeed, they might become overly directive or controlling, mapping out paths for their children rather than allowing them to explore and determine their own passions.

It’s essential to recognize that the Enneagram is a tool for understanding core motivations and fears, and individual variations will certainly exist among Type 3 parents. Factors such as personal growth, cultural influences, their own childhood experiences, and more can influence their parenting style.

A self-aware Type 3 parent would aim for the balance and understanding inherent in the Authoritative style, ensuring they support their children’s aspirations while also allowing them the autonomy to define success on their own terms.

enneagram 3 family

Strengths And Challenges As Parents?

Enneagram Type 3, also known as the Achiever, can exhibit self-confidence and an energetic nature as their parenting strengths. They tend to foster a highly encouraging and adaptable environment for their child.

However, Enneagram Type 3 parents may struggle with acknowledging and validating their children’s feelings since they are often focused on accomplishments.

Their desire for public attention and approval can sometimes lead to a lack of self-approval or self-image focus that can affect the parent-child relationship.

Tips For Creating A Supportive And Balanced Parenting Environment

To create a supportive and balanced parenting environment for Enneagram Type 3 children, here are some tips:

  1. Encourage curiosity and playfulness: Enneagram Type 3 individuals thrive on new experiences and challenges. Encouraging your child to explore their interests and hobbies will help them develop a sense of self and creativity.
  2. Help set goals that aren’t attached to extrinsic results: While Type 3 individuals tend to be highly motivated by success and recognition, it is important to encourage them to pursue endeavors that are personally fulfilling rather than just for external validation.
  3. Provide diversity in experiences: Exposure to varied experiences will help your child understand different perspectives, build social skills, and develop empathy.
  4. Foster a peaceful environment: While achievement is important, providing a calm home environment will allow your child the space they need to recharge and find balance.
  5. Allow for self-expression: It is essential for Enneagram Type 3 children to feel seen and heard by their parents. Allowing your child to express themselves in their own unique way can help them feel validated.
  6. Emphasize inner fulfillment over external accolades: Encouraging your child’s sense of purpose and passion outside of societal expectations can help them develop a healthy attitude towards success.

By following these tips, parents can provide an environment that supports their Enneagram Type 3 child’s natural drive while also helping them cultivate inner fulfillment and balance.

What Is It Like To Work With An Enneagram 3?

enneagram 3 office

Working with an Enneagram Type 3 can be both inspiring and challenging. Their driven and hardworking nature can make them great partners in work settings, as they strive to accomplish their goals and set high standards for themselves.

They are motivated by recognition and success, which can drive them to excel in their work and take on new challenges.

To effectively work with an Enneagram Type 3, clear communication is key. It’s important to provide regular feedback and recognition for their accomplishments so they feel valued and appreciated.

At the same time, it’s crucial to encourage them to take breaks and make time for themselves outside of work since they may struggle with finding a healthy balance between their personal life and career.

As Bosses, Co-workers, And Subordinates

Enneagram Type 3 individuals, also known as “The Achiever,” can make excellent bosses and coworkers when they are mindful of their tendencies to be workaholics.

As bosses, Type 3s are highly motivated by efficiency and success, making them effective leaders who set clear goals for their teams.

They possess the ability to inspire and encourage others by recognizing and rewarding their accomplishments.

As co-workers, Type 3s have a gift for building relationships with colleagues in every hierarchical level of an organization thanks to their charming personality traits. They thrive in collaborative settings where everyone can contribute equally towards achieving common goals.

At times though, problems may arise if there is too much competition or one-upmanship among team members as Type 3s love winning and will fight hard to come out on top.

enneagram 3 career

How Compatible Are Enneagram 3s With Other Enneagram Types?

Enneagram Type 3s, also known as Achievers, are highly compatible with Types 9, 2, and 8. Threes share a common drive for success and achievement with Eights while sharing similar outlooks on life with Twos.

However, compatibility between Enneagram types is not solely determined by shared traits. Healthy communication styles and mutual respect are essential to building successful relationships across all types.

For example, Type Sixes may see Eye-to-Eye with Threes’ ambitious personality but struggle to understand their need for validation from others.

It’s important to remember that compatibility should not be used as the sole deciding factor in starting or maintaining any relationship.

What Is The Relationship Compatibility Between Type 3 And Types 1-9?

In order to understand the relationship compatibility between Enneagram type 3 and the other Enneagram types, it is important to explore their strengths, weaknesses, and unique dynamics when paired together.

The table below outlines the compatibility and potential challenges that may arise when partnering with other Enneagram types.

Type CompatibilityDescription
Type 3 and Type 1These two types share a common goal for improvement, which can create a strong bond. However, they may struggle with differing communication styles and conflict resolution.
Type 3 and Type 2Both value success and achievement, but Type 2’s desire for connection and attention may clash with Type 3’s focus on goals and productivity. Effective communication is key for this pairing.
Type 3 and Type 3With shared values and goals, this pairing can be powerful and productive. However, they must prioritize emotional connection and balance competitiveness to maintain a healthy relationship.
Type 3 and Type 4While Type 3 focuses on success and image, Type 4 values authenticity and emotional depth. Potential challenges can arise from differing priorities, but they can also learn from each other’s strengths.
Type 3 and Type 5This pairing can be complementary, with Type 3’s drive for success and Type 5’s deep knowledge and insight. However, they should prioritize emotional connection and open communication to overcome potential misunderstandings.
Type 3 and Type 6Both types can offer support to each other, with Type 6 providing loyalty and stability. However, they must navigate Type 3’s need for achievement and Type 6’s need for security to maintain a harmonious relationship.
Type 3 and Type 7These two types share optimism and an energetic approach to life. However, their shared aversion to negative emotions and conflicts may lead to challenges in addressing relationship issues.
Type 3 and Type 8Both types are assertive and goal-oriented, which can lead to a strong, productive partnership. They must learn to balance power dynamics and prioritize emotional connection to maintain a healthy relationship.
Type 3 and Type 9This pairing is highly compatible, with Type 9 offering support, acceptance, and calm to ambitious Type 3. Their optimistic outlook and aversion to conflict contribute to a harmonious relationship dynamic.
Enneagram 3 Relationship Compatibility Chart

How Does Enneagram Type 3 Wing Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 3s can have either Two-wings or Four-wings, each of which influences their relationships in different ways.

Those with a Two-wing tend to prioritize shining in their relationships and being recognized for their efforts, while those with a Four-wing tend to prioritize professional accomplishments and their craft.

While Threes with a Two Wing may be highly charismatic and able to charm others effortlessly, they can also struggle to express deeper feelings beyond surface-level interactions.

On the other hand, those with a Four-wing are more introspective but may struggle with seeking validation from external sources rather than inner fulfillment.

Ultimately, it’s important for Enneagram Type 3 individuals to find partners who support their personal growth goals and recognize their inherent value beyond just achievement-oriented traits.

What Are Enneagram 3’s Wings?

Enneagram 3 Wings

Enneagram Type 3 individuals have two possible wings: 3w2 and 3w4. Threes with a Two wing, also known as “the Charmer,” tend to focus on their relationships and connecting with others.

They are enthusiastic, warm, and charming individuals who prioritize building connections with those around them. On the other hand, threes with a Four wing often emphasize their profession and craft over social engagements.

They are more introspective than those with a Three-wing Two and put more emphasis on self-expression and creativity in their work.

How Do 3w2 Traits Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 3w2 individuals have a warm and sociable nature that makes them highly approachable in relationships.

They are driven by a sense of purpose, aiming to achieve their goals while maintaining close bonds with others.

In relationships, Enneagram Type 3w2 individuals can use their charm and charismatic personalities to positively influence those around them.

However, they may struggle with expressing vulnerability or allowing themselves to be emotionally open for fear of losing validation or recognition.

How Does 3w4Traits Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 3 Wing 4 personalities tend to be career-oriented and introverted, making them highly focused on their goals and aspirations.

They may struggle with expressing their emotions, but their sensitivity and depth can add richness to relationships once they learn how to connect emotionally.

Their basic desire to feel loved, accepted, and good at something means that they are likely to pursue partners who appreciate their accomplishments and talents.

Threes with a 4 wing can use their tact and diplomacy to handle Fours’ emotional reactions in relationships.

How Subtypes Influence Relationships

Enneagram Type 3 individuals have three subtypes: self-preservation (Sp), one-to-one (Sx), and social (So). These different subtypes influence how Enneagram Type 3 individuals interact and connect with others in their relationships.

For example, the subtype is the most independent of all three, which means they tend to prioritize personal goals over relationships.

One-to-one subtype individuals are primarily focused on building intimate connections with one person at a time.

They seek deep and meaningful experiences with partners but may struggle to balance their focus on just one person while neglecting other important areas of life.

Research suggests that understanding these differences can help Enneagram Type 3 individuals have successful relationships based on deeper self-knowledge and an understanding of others’ needs and desires.

How Does Each Subtype Influence Relationships?

Enneagram Type 3 has three subtypes, including social, sexual, and self-preservation, which have unique influences on relationships. Here’s a closer look:

  1. Social subtype: This subtype craves social influence and wants to feel connected to others. In relationships, they are often very outgoing and enjoy being seen as successful by their peers.
  2. Sexual subtype: The primary focus for this subtype is on one-to-one relationships or coupling. They tend to value intimacy highly and may struggle with expressing vulnerability in relationships.
  3. Self-preservation subtype: More inwardly focused, this subtype seeks security and stability in relationships. They can be very supportive partners but may struggle with assertiveness or conflict resolution at times.

Understanding these subtypes can be helpful in fostering compatibility and understanding between individuals of different Enneagram types and within relationships themselves.

How Does The Counter Subtype Influence Relationships?

The counter subtype, or the “self-preservation,” “one-to-one,” and “social” variants, can significantly affect how Enneagram Type 3 behaves in a relationship. For instance, a self-preservation subtype Three may prioritize security and stability in their relationships while a one-to-one subtype may seek deeper emotional connections with their partners.

Social subtype Threes tend to be highly attuned to social status and use their relationships to enhance their public image.

For example, suppose you’re dating an Enneagram Type 3 who falls under the one-to-one subtype. In that case, they may need frequent validation from you to feel secure in the relationship despite being confident on the outside.

Therefore, reassuring them of your affection regularly could go a long way in fostering intimacy between you two.

What Needs Do Relationships Serve For Enneagram Type 3?

Relationships serve essential needs for Enneagram type 3 individuals. Firstly, it offers a chance to feel validated and appreciated both personally and professionally.

The validation received from their partners or friends helps Enneagram type 3s meet their primary goal of being seen as successful and competent in various areas of life.

Furthermore, healthy relationships offer growth opportunities for Enneagram type 3s. They have an opportunity to recognize themselves for who they are beyond achievements or accomplishments and permit inner fulfillment through genuine connections with others rather than externalized value systems only.

How Do Relationships Help Enneagram Type 3s Grow?

enneagram 3 growth

Enneagram Type 3s value relationships that provide them with admiration, validation, and a sense of worth.

In healthy relationships, they can learn to focus not just on accomplishing their goals but also on the emotional connections that come with them.

Partners who offer feedback without being critical can help them remember to appreciate the journey rather than just the destination.

Furthermore, learning more about other types through friendships and intimate relationships can broaden a type three’s understanding of other perspectives and emotions beyond their own ambition-driven point of view.

Trustworthy partners who model authenticity and vulnerability in relationships can help type 3s develop those traits themselves.

What Lessons Do Enneagram Type 3s Learn In Relationships?

Enneagram Type 3s can learn many valuable lessons through relationships.

One of the biggest lessons is that their sense of self-worth should not be tied solely to their achievements or external validation.

Relationships can teach them that they are worthy and loved simply for who they are, regardless of their accomplishments.

Additionally, relationships can teach Enneagram Type 3s about vulnerability and emotional intimacy, which may not come naturally to them but are important for building deep connections with others.

Research shows that Enneagram Type 3s value competence and genuine care in relationships. They strive for authenticity in love and seek genuine admiration from others.

How Can Type 3s Improve Their Relationships?

  1. Focus on open communication: Type 3s should practice being honest and transparent with their partners, sharing their feelings, thoughts, and concerns.
  2. Take time to prioritize the relationship: Type 3s can have a tendency to prioritize work or outside achievements over their relationships, so making time for the relationship is crucial.
  3. Practice active listening: Showing interest in what their partner has to say and actively engaging in listening and understanding them is vital.
  4. Learn to express vulnerability: Type 3s may struggle with expressing vulnerability in relationships, but opening up and showing vulnerability can build stronger connections.
  5. Recognize the importance of validation: Type 3s often crave validation for their achievements, but it’s important to recognize the value of validating their partner’s feelings and emotions as well.
  6. Address any tendencies towards competition or one-upmanship: Threes can sometimes become too competitive, so recognizing when this behavior may be unhealthy can improve the relationship.
  7. Embrace shared experiences and quality time together: Doing activities together and creating meaningful shared experiences can deepen emotional bonds between partners.
  8. Be aware of personal tendencies towards success-oriented goals at the expense of intimacy and understanding in the relationship.
  9. Seek support from loved ones or a therapist when needed: Seeking support from others can help type 3s identify areas where they may need improvement in their relationships and gain insight into how they can improve them further.

Best Relationship Tips For Type 3s?

Enneagram Type 3s are high-achieving individuals who possess a strong desire for success and admiration. Here are some of the best relationship tips for type 3s:

  1. Be Authentic: As a Type 3, you may have a tendency to mold yourself into what you think your partner wants, but it’s essential to be true to yourself and express your genuine feelings, needs, and desires.
  2. Practice Active Listening: Listen attentively to your partner in order to understand their emotional needs and concerns, providing them with valuable feedback that reflects their views.
  3. Celebrate Small Moments: Take time to appreciate the small moments in your relationship when everything feels comfortable or right. Recognize the positive aspects of your connection as a couple.
  4. Avoid Overworking: Being a workaholic is a common habit of Enneagram Type 3s. It is important for you to take time away from work, relax, decompress, and enjoy other hobbies or activities together.
  5. Communicate Openly: Verbalize what’s on your mind without holding back emotions or feelings unexpressed but in a non-threatening way that won’t compromise honesty or hurtful words.
  6. Express Gratitude: Show appreciation and gratitude frequently toward your partner by doing little things that make them feel special like cooking their favorite meal, leaving notes of love around the house, etc.
  7. Set Goals Together: Work together as partners towards shared goals like traveling somewhere new, creating more memories together, etc., keeping you committed to achieving these goals.

Remember that relationships need time, effort, and communication from both partners in order to be fulfilling and rewarding for all involved persons- including yourself as an Enneagram Type 3!


1. What are the characteristics of Enneagram Type 3 individuals in relationships?

Enneagram Type 3 individuals tend to prioritize achievement and success in their relationships, often seeking partners who can validate their accomplishments and support their ambitions.

2. How do Enneagram Type 3 individuals cope with conflict in relationships?

Enneagram Type 3 individuals may struggle with conflict resolution as they can be focused on maintaining a positive image and avoiding negative feedback. They may benefit from therapy or counseling to develop healthy communication skills.

3. What types of partners are compatible with Enneagram Type 3 personalities?

Partners who value similar goals such as success, achievement, and ambition can often be compatible with Enneagram Type 3s. However, it’s important for both partners to communicate openly about expectations within the relationship.

4. Can an individual’s Enneagram type change over time in a relationship?

While it is possible for an individual’s personality traits to shift over time due to various life experiences, an individual’s core Enneagram type generally remains consistent throughout their lifetime even within different romantic partnerships.